


How It Ends (You Already Know)

by kisahawklin



Category: So You Think You Can Dance RPF
Genre: Author's Favorite, Behind the Scenes, Dancing, F/M, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-05
Updated: 2011-02-05
Packaged: 2017-10-15 10:18:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/159830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kisahawklin/pseuds/kisahawklin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little behind the scenes of So You Think You Can Dance Season 7.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How It Ends (You Already Know)

  
  
  
  
[Download the soundtrack (right click, save as)](http://soleta.net/kisa/How%20It%20Ends%20\(You%20Already%20Know\)%20soundtrack.zip)   
  


~~~~~~

It's a coming of age story. Kent knows that now, because Neil told him; it should have been obvious before, but English never was his best class.

It was different for everyone else, of course it was. He can tell that Robert came to the show a _young_ man and matured into a _man_. He knows Lauren came and conquered while being a lady and a girl and a woman, and it seems a little unfair that she can still have all that.

His own boyhood has been stripped away from him. While the feeling is strange and new, like the pink skin under a blister, he can't say he misses it that much.

~~~~~~

Everybody thinks they know what "the show must go on" means, but they're wrong. Kent's danced through blisters, cramps, colds, and distraction, but it's nothing compared to dancing with a broken heart.

Every step of his hip hop with Comfort has Alex's stamp on it. The waves, the slides, the fact that he can't make himself grab his crotch.

_"It's just so vulgar," Kent said, staring at himself in the mirror cupping his crotch. Alex was next to him doing the same thing, and it looked just as silly on him. "Dancing is about beauty, passion, love -"_

_"And sometimes sex," Alex laughed, slapping Kent on the back. "A_ lot _of dancing is about sex."_

_"But -"_

_"You're not still a virgin, are you?" Alex asked. It didn't even phase Kent, because it was Alex, there was no judgment there. He blushed, but shook his head. "Well, you're young, and you're a dancer, you can't have had a lot of time to mess around. You'll see, when you have your first really excellent lover, someone who makes everything else fade into the background. Trust me," Alex said, clapping Kent on the back. "You'll get this from a whole different angle when you've been there."_

He still isn't there, though, so he and Comfort keep their hands on the front of their pants – and what a godsend Comfort has been, so helpful and dedicated and willing to work with him on everything in with the whole routine, he couldn't have asked for a better partner. He falls in love with her the way he's fallen in love with all his partners so far, wholly and completely, and he's pretty sure it shows.

He makes it through the hip hop and the critiques without thinking any more of Alex, but as he goes to change into his prom outfit, it hits him again how awful Alex's injury is, and how much Kent's going to miss him.

He takes a deep breath and clears his mind, heading backstage to stretch.

~~~~~~

The prom dance may be his favorite dance of the entire competition, Kent thinks, a number perfectly tailored to him and Lauren by Travis freakin’ Wall. He doesn’t know how it could get better than this.

Then Travis pulls him aside and says he should consider kissing Lauren, if he's feeling it in the moment. Which, of _course_ he'll be feeling it, he's _always_ feeling it. His crush on Lauren has reached epic proportions, and everybody teases him about it now, not just Lauren and Billy.

In the end, he can’t pass up the opportunity – he just can’t. He knows Lauren’s got a boyfriend and he knows that she won’t refuse him onstage and he knows Travis is giving him this because it’s completely obvious how in love with Lauren he is. None of that really matters because now that he has the picture in his head, he has to go for it. He’ll regret it if he doesn’t try.

His nerves kick up a notch and he can feel his heart pounding with the adrenaline. He can barely stand still backstage as their video package goes live with all their ridiculous goofing around.

The dance goes perfectly and Kent's still not sure, even as he bring his face closer and closer to Lauren's, that he'll have the guts to kiss her. It's like she can feel it, though. She's breathing hard, the warm air puffing against his lips, and he goes for it, bringing his hands up to cup her face.

She kisses him back and for a second it feels like he's about to take off like a rocket, headed straight out of atmosphere. Then the song is well and truly over and Cat is practically prying them apart _and_ it's time to go talk to the judges. That's a moodkiller if there ever was one.

~~~~~~

"You know I hate surprises," Lauren says backstage, punching his arm hard. "You should have told me."

"It was a spur of the moment thing!" Kent protests, lying through his teeth. "Travis just said I should judge if the mood was right –"

"He _told_ you to do that?" Lauren says, and she sounds kind of angry, but she looks a little confused, and maybe hurt.

"No, not…" Kent doesn’t want Travis to take any blame for this; he knows Travis was doing him a favor, giving him an out to say the kiss was included in the choreography. "We talked about it, but he said it was up to me. It’s my fault. I’m really, really sorry."

"You should be, Kent." Lauren punches him again. "I have a boyfriend, and there’s no way he isn’t going to call me to ask what the heck is going on here. Especially after Adam’s speech about how _real_ it was." Lauren runs a hand through her hair, grabbing the curls and yanking.

He wishes he could regret the kiss, but he really can’t bring himself to do it, so all he can say is, "I’m _so_ sorry. You know I didn’t want to cause you any trouble, I just thought…" Lauren glares at him. "All right, I wanted to kiss you. Yes. And I don’t regret it. But I’m sorry."

"I know all that. And I wanted to kiss you too, or it wouldn’t have happened. But that only makes it worse."

"I’m sorry," Kent says again, helpless. He doesn’t know what else to say.

"Go away," Lauren says. "I don’t want to see you right now."

Kent goes, still riding the rollercoaster between how perfect the kiss was and how upset Lauren is. He feels a little sick to his stomach.

~~~~~~

He knows exactly what Alex means when he says his heart hurts worse than anything; seeing him on stage with crutches is the most heartbreaking thing Kent has experienced in his entire life. He's holding Lauren's hand and Billy's at his back, and then Alex says he's going to miss them all, he _says Kent's name_ , and the tears come, he knew they would, but they hurt all the same.

Billy's got his back, literally. He can feel Billy's cheek against his shoulder as he tries to pull himself together, puts the heels of his hands in his eyes like _that's_ gonna help. By the time he can breathe again it's time for them to take the stage, and Billy and Lauren are light years ahead of him, half-running up there to hug Alex. Jose is at his back now, and Jose gives him the lightest push to get moving, his feet going one after the next climbing the stairs, watching the people that have become a second family to him envelop Alex, and he puts his arms around them all, wishing they could stay like this forever.

~~~~~~

It's like the producers are trying to give him a hint with a sledgehammer. Apparently kissing one girl and pretending to kiss another means you only get to work with boys the next week. There's been a lot of kissing on So You Think You Can Dance, he's seen every single one of them, but maybe they're thinking they can cool the tweens off a bit by putting Kent in non-romantic routines.

Dee Caspary misses the memo just a bit, but Kent doesn't care, he's thankful to be able to dance something so interesting and complex with Chiké. He gets outed about the kiss in the interviews, but he expected that to happen. By the time he's listening to the playback onstage, he'd forgotten all about it, and things with Lauren have settled back into their goofy sort of friendship. He still has a crush on her, but it's more subdued now, like kissing her took the edge off.

Working with Neil isn't what he thought it'd be. He doesn't know what he expected, but Neil sure isn't it. He's kind of funny, but also able to dance the hell out of everything Tyce gives them - and he gives them all kinds of ridiculous technique for a Broadway number, jumps, spins, acrobatics, the whole bit. It's fun, the routine is a hoot - a little clichéd, but Kent knows all about that, and Neil does the whole thing tongue in cheek, which is hilarious. Kent wonders if the judges will see it – if Neil was like this during his season, no one watching at Kent's house noticed. His sister _loved_ Neil, calling in votes on three cell phones after every single show.

~~~~~~

"Hey Chiké," Kent calls, sniffing the air as something delicious-smelling wafts through the apartment. He hops onto the counter and steals a peapod. "Have you ever danced a trio with a chair?"

"Nope," Chiké says, poking at whatever's in the pan. "It's a clever idea, but man. It's weird to try having an emotional connection to a chair."

"I know," Kent says, thinking on the choreography some more. "I guess we're supposed to have an emotional connection to each other, but it's all about that chair."

"Because you can't kiss a chair," Chiké says, knocking his elbow into Kent's knee.

"Come on," Kent whines, "Travis told me to - he gave us a standing ovation for that kiss!"

"But Lauren didn't know," Chiké teases, stuffing a cherry tomato in Kent's mouth so he can't answer. "It was mean to do that to her, you know."

Kent chews the tomato thoughtfully. He knows. He can still feel her fingers tightening on his arm as she realized what he was going to do.

Lauren breezes in, snagging some of Chiké's veggies as she pops up onto the counter next to Kent. "Whatcha cooking?" she asks, crunching away on her carrot.

"Stir fry," Chiké answers. "Though there won't be any left if you keep eating all my veggies."

"Yeah Kent," Lauren says, elbowing him in the ribs. She catches him just right and he laughs helplessly, sliding off the counter sideways.

"Oh ho," Chiké says, abandoning his spatula. "I think farm boy is ticklish!"

~~~~~~

The weeks go faster and faster, more routines, dancing all day, their family getting smaller and smaller, and suddenly it's the week before the finale, and time comes to an abrupt halt when he pulls Neil and contemporary out of the hat.

His first dance with Neil was so simple and straightforward and _fun_ that it never occurred to him to think of it as anything more than a way not to be in the bottom three. Seeing Neil and Travis standing side by side as he comes into the studio, he has a feeling that he's going to get the routine of his life. He can feel his heart speed up at the thought.

It calms back down as Travis explains the concept for the piece – it's awful and heartbreaking, and while Kent knows, without a doubt, that the choreography will be fantastic (Travis always works best with heartbreak), it always takes it out of him to do emotional pieces. He has to dig so deep, a fountain of black emotional junk comes out of who knows where, and it unsettles him how it doesn't fit with the life he's lived so far. It's going to be a long haul to performance night.

As they work through the steps, something starts itching at the back of Kent's mind. He can't ask; Travis'll just tell him it's all in the choreography.

"Let it go," Travis says, when Kent holds back, when he's unsure. "Neil's got you."

~~~~~~

The opening section is going to be the hardest, he thinks, even after Neil puts his filthy sock on Kent's face. Having to trust Neil for so much of his movement is scary, despite the fact that Neil is taller, stronger, and more experienced at partnering than he is.

"Loose," Travis says, knocking into Kent's hip as he tries to get the lift right. "If you stiffen your muscles you make it harder on Neil."

Neil doesn't seem to mind, he's been lifting Kent for ten minutes already and not a word of complaint. That's better than Kent can say, since his stomach is feeling bruised from Neil's arm around it and his throat's a little raw from his heart being stuck in it for well over half an hour.

They do it again and Kent just lets it go, tries to be dead weight, and the shift in the way his legs respond makes the lightbulb go on. "Yes!" Travis says, jumping up and down. "But with more control, now."

Two more tries and they have it, so they go through the opening of the routine, getting all the way to Kent's turn to assist Neil before they need to stop again. It's like Neil can feel when Kent isn't ready, so he doesn't jump as high, or he just does a grand battement and skips the lift altogether.

"You have to trust Kent too," Travis says, punching Neil on the shoulder after the sixth missed lift.

"It's not his fault," Kent says. Neil didn't look like he was going to say anything, and Kent knows it's his fault, so he can't let Neil take the blame. "I haven't got the timing of the lift."

"All right," Travis says. "Grab some water, and watch me and Neil do the opening."

Kent grabs his water bottle and sits cross-legged at the front of the room, excited to watch Travis dance. He flips the music on for them, and as he watches the opening of the routing go by, the clear faith they have that the other person will be there for them is staggering. He's gotten used to partnering, but it doesn't come naturally to him. Having someone rely on him is always scary, but nowhere near as scary as having to rely on someone else for so much of a routine.

Travis does a little quickstep when Neil takes a bigger prep than he expected, and even though Travis is tiny, Neil gets high enough to practically brush his toes on the ceiling.

 _Oh,_ Kent thinks, nodding his head. _Got it._

He doesn't say anything because they keep going, and it hits him like a ton of bricks that he is dancing Travis in the choreographed scenario. Not some nameless character with a made up backstory, but _Travis_. Watching the dance play out, watching Neil actually act like an asshole is a little frightening and a lot heartbreaking, and he gets what Travis means now that being stabbed in the back makes you want to throw up.

Travis runs after Neil, shoving him hard enough that Neil stumbles a little and doesn't turn around on time. Travis stops there, putting a shaky hand over his eyes and walking to the back of the room. "Your turn," he says with a wave of his hand, and Kent springs up, moving to Neil's side as fast as he can. He's witnessed plenty of breakdowns in rehearsal, and the only thing he's figured out so far is pretty much to actively ignore them and concentrate on what you're supposed to be doing.

He sets himself up so they can run the bit that leads to Neil's lift. He's got it now, it totally makes sense – he's not lifting Neil so much as Neil is using him as a prop to get more height. He just has to be solid and Neil will do the rest. It changes the way he thinks about the throw, too, and as they sail easily through the lift and into the offset section, Kent coming out of his spin in time to get a good running start for the throw. He gets more height than he has yet, and that gets Travis's attention. "Yes!" he says, coming back to observe.

They get through the unison moves and Kent fakes it well enough to get to the end, though he doesn't have all the choreography under his feet yet.

"Good," Travis says, and he looks perfectly fine, so maybe Kent was imagining things earlier.

"I'm sorry this happened to you," Kent says, because he is, and because he feels like he should address whatever is making him feel so nervous about this routine.

Travis shrugs. "It's been a while. I've had this one in my pocket, waiting for the right dancers."

Kent looks at Neil, who's grinning with that boyish sort of charm he generally exudes, except when he's dancing.

"I needed you and I needed Neil; no other boys would have worked for this routine," Travis says. "I thought I might be able to pull it off if I got Billy and the right girl, but I never got Billy." He doesn't sound too put out by it.

"I wish I'd been able to perform with Billy," Kent says. Neil whips his head around to stare and Travis frowns at him.

"Are you kidding?" Neil asks. "Have you seen any of his dances with other guys? With the girls, even?"

They watch the tape on Wednesday nights, so of course he's seen Billy's routines. "Yeah, so?"

Travis grins and claps him on the shoulder. "Never mind, Kent. That's exactly why you're perfect for this routine. Let's rehearse the synchronized section."

~~~~~~

"Do you think it was a boyfriend?" Kent asks when they rehearse later, as Neil mimes mashing his face into the floor.

"No idea," Neil says, turning to walk away. "Does it matter?"

"It's worse, if it is." Kent puts a hand on Neil's shoulder and he doesn't shrug it off like he's supposed to.

"I don't think so," Neil says finally, pushing Kent's hand away. Kent follows him some more, puts his hands on both Neil's shoulders. He wishes he could see Neil's face; he never knows what's going through his mind here, what his character is supposed to be feeling. "Friendships, especially good ones, are harder to come by than romantic relationships."

Neil sinks to his knees, and Kent thinks about that as he does the final rond de jambe and moves away. "What if she is your friend?" He looks over his shoulder and Neil is looking back at him, his face a puzzle.

"Then you're the luckiest bastard in the world. Unless she dumps you like this." He shakes out his arms and legs. "Let's do the unison stuff. You need to work on your timing."

~~~~~~

"No," Neil says again. "You're extending too long and then rushing the next move. You can't mess with the rhythm like that."

"But I want to get full extension," Kent answers, even though he knows Neil's response already.

"I can't believe you're –"

"I'm not," Kent says, immediately apologetic. He puts his hands on his hips and takes a deep breath. "I know. I _know_." He goes to the iPod and backs it up again, starts from the beginning of the song just to get the rhythm in his bones. Neil's intractably solid at being dead on the beat, it makes Kent feel like such a kid.

Neil puts his hands on Kent's shoulders while they wait for the cue. "S'all right," he says, soothing. "Let's just do it again." He squeezes Kent's shoulders and lines up to his left, arms already into position, even though they've got a good twenty seconds yet.

"Extend earlier," Neil says, demonstrating perfectly while they're waiting. Kent nods. He knows, he really does – he's just tired, and he still has a couple of hours of disco with Courtney after this.

"If you're too tired," Neil says, half grinning. It's their joke, Neil knows Kent hates the condescension. The problem is, he _is_ tired. He's tired to his bones, and for a split second he thinks of asking to knock off early. The disco routine is all lifts and music that makes him want to stab himself in the eye, and just the thought of it makes him want to curl up and die.

"Hey," Neil says, running over to the iPod and pausing it. "Hey," he says again, and Kent gets a hold of himself. He has to ace this, not just because it's the routine that's going to get him to the finale, but because it's for Travis. He owes Travis, for that routine with Lauren, and the wink and nudge that gave him the guts to kiss her at the end. He's got to get this right.

"Let's go," Kent says. "Come on, this has to be perfect."

~~~~~~

It bugs him that he doesn't know whether or not this really is about a friend of Travis's or a boyfriend. It shouldn't matter, but somehow it really, really does, and while he knows it's evocative choreography either way, it matters to him to be telling the truth. Travis should have told him what the whole thing was really about.

"Earth to Kent," Neil says, snapping his fingers. "What's going on in there?" He knocks on Kent's skull. "Your concentration is for shit today."

"Did Travis tell you?" Kent asks. He has an inkling that Neil knows, or at least has more inside information than Kent is privy to.

"Tell me what?" Neil asks, trying another jump. He hasn't done the same one twice, so Kent has no idea what he'll end up doing on performance night.

"If this is about an ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure I buy the friend story."

Neil looks at him, nothing showing on his remarkably blank face. "If he did, that's between us."

Kent rolls his eyes. "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right."

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Neil asks, like he doesn't know.

Kent doesn't even answer.

"Fine," Neil says, throwing his hands up. "Girlfriend ever stab you in the back?"

"No," Kent answers, pissed because he can see where this is going.

"Best friend ever stab you in the back?"

"No," Kent answers again, sighing. "But I bet it wouldn't feel the same as a girlfriend."

"And since you have to imagine it anyway," Neil says, getting into Kent's face a little, "I say imagine it'd hurt _exactly the same_. It's none of your business, Kent, or Travis would have told you."

Kent sputters for a second, a handful of easy denials fighting to get out, but one by one he dismisses them, knowing Neil is right, and knowing he'll never find out and it's going to drive him absolutely crazy from now until he's an old man.

~~~~~~

Ouch. Being told by Mia and Adam that it's your worst routine of the season, that's probably as bad as it gets, even if he and Courtney both know they did absolutely everything they could with a genre Kent was not designed to dance. He still can't believe she's not entirely black and blue from all the failed lifts in rehearsal.

He's changed and stretching when Neil finds him for the five minute warning. He needed the time alone, get out of the disco mindset and sparkly clothing and into Travis's mysterious personal tragedy. It's not working, not at all. There's too much adrenaline, just like always on game day.

He shakes out his arms and legs and follows Neil backstage. Jose taught him some breathing things but it doesn't really help, except that thinking of Jose makes him smile a little.

He can't help himself. It's nerves, he knows, but he has to see if he can get it out of Neil before they go onstage; suddenly it's _very_ important that he knows if this was Travis's friend or his boyfriend.

"Just tell me?" Kent asks, sounding about as desperate as he feels. "Make it up if you don't know, I need a definitive answer."

Their video package goes on, he can hear himself talking about what a great friend Neil is. "Please," he whispers. "Please, Neil?"

Neil puts a hand on his back and pushes him out of the wings, and as Kent lines up on his mark, Neil faces him, taking him by the shoulders. Kent holds his breath – he knew it, Neil's going to tell him, Neil won't leaving him hanging like this.

"What if it was a boyfriend," Neil says, his voice cold, his face impassive. "Huh?"

Kent stares. The Neil on the gigantic TV is saying that it doesn't matter if it hurts Kent, he has to move on. Kent blinks, stuttering out an indistinct noise.

"You going to kiss me onstage?" Neil asks, and this time, there's no poker face – he's sneering at Kent, mean and ugly and contemptuous. Neil lets him go and takes up position, arm slung around him like he hasn't just ripped Kent's heart out and stomped on it.

He feels weirdly empty, hollow, and there's a strange sort of disconnect as he brings his arm up and puts it around Neil.

That's the last thought he has because the music starts, and the rehearsal kicks in, movements exactly like they practiced them, but not, really, because he can feel himself leaning into Neil in a way he never did in rehearsal, because Neil's been a rock for him, and now…

The first lift is perfect, his arms and legs swinging loose, anchorless, and letting Neil manipulate him is easier than it's ever been, his body doing exactly what they've beaten into it through hours of rehearsal while his mind spins its wheels, refusing to process what Neil said, what he meant, especially as he continues to be the partner Kent needs _and_ nail his own moments of brilliance.

When Kent feels Neil punch him in the back, the backstabbing he _was_ ready for, he has a second of fear that Neil isn't going to catch him. He's never been afraid of that, not once, not even when he went ass over teakettle that first day.

Neil's there, though, and never has Kent been more glad to be wrong than when he can feel Neil lining up underneath him, supporting him, and suddenly he realizes what an idiot he is. Of course Neil is supporting him. Of course Neil is doing everything he can to make this perfect. _Of course_ Neil said that to get him in the right frame of mind.

It was still a dick move, though, so when Kent shoves him, he does it pretty hard. It feels _really_ good.

It feels even better, though, when Neil is there to catch him after his tours en l'air. After that he soars through the routine, everything falling into place effortlessly. He's actually glad he didn't get to see Neil's jump until they watch tape later that night, because he probably would have stopped and stared. As it was, he took a running start and when Neil got under him for the throw, it felt like he could have made it to the lights.

The synchronized part is mostly synchronized, and he maybe overplays it a bit with Neil's foot on his face, but he's always hated that; he scrubs his face off after every rehearsal.

The ending really does feel like absolution, even if Neil's still in character. Kent's figured it out, he understands what Neil was doing and why he did it, and he couldn't be more grateful, not even when Travis can't stop smiling in that subdued way while they get collect their mostly incoherent praise from the judges.

Kent can't help darting looks to check on Travis; he's relatively calm for such an emotional piece, so maybe it is further in the past than Kent thought. Just like that, it _doesn't_ matter if it was a friend or a boyfriend, and Kent thinks not knowing might not kill him after all.

~~~~~~

The results show for the finale is ridiculous. They learned four routines and had a solo yesterday, and today each of them has to learn the group routine and brush up whatever routines the judges want from them today. He'd expected to be dancing with Neil again, but not both routines. He only has vague memories of the baseball routine.

Kent and Neil are the only people with three dances on top of the group routine; they fly through their rehearsals and barely say two words outside of that. Kent's a nervous wreck anyway, he can hardly stand having to wait a whole day to hear the results of last night's voting.

It's weird, having three dances in the first hour, and then waiting for what seems like forever to dance Travis's choreography with Neil again. It's not going to be as tight as last time, he knows that just because polishing up three routines he hasn't done in a while and learning a new one in under twenty-four hours is not a way to have excellent performances. Maybe if they gave him a week. Or at least a day or two.

Kent jumps when Neil puts a hand on his shoulder. He'd nearly dozed off, weirdly, but it seems like a good thing – the adrenaline feels more under control now, like it's been siphoned off somehow.

"Ready for this?" Neil asks, following him to the wings. "No freakouts?"

"That was _your_ fault!" Kent says, immediately getting shushed by a stage hand. "You did it on purpose!"

Neil gives him a lopsided grin. "It totally worked."

Kent grins too. "Yeah, it totally did."

"Let's see what we can do for this time," Neil says, and before Kent can register anything but surprise, Neil leans in and kisses him.

His mind stutters to a halt. He's kissed a few girls, enough to be not completely inexperienced, but something about Neil makes him want to fall apart. He grabs on to Neil's arms because his are shaking, and then Neil's hands are on his body, supporting and guiding and keeping him from falling down, just like when they're dancing. He hears some kind of soft noise that he knows came from somewhere inside him, and he can feel Neil smile into the kiss. He smiles too, and they separate just enough to breathe and he thinks maybe he can bring things back online… Except Neil presses his whole body into Kent's, and his mouth breaks Kent's open and suddenly every single thing he knew about kissing is lost in this one kiss, so beyond his best fantasies, he's not sure what to do with it.

"Time to get out there," the shushing stage hand says from a discreet distance, and Neil finishes the kiss with a soft brush of his thumb over Kent's lips.

Kent opens his eyes but it's still dark, and all he can really see is Neil's face, close enough to kiss again, if they had time. He feels like he's in some strange different world where everything is sort of the same and also completely different – a neat ninety degree angle from where it was before.

Kent feels the same sort of empty buzzing he felt before the last time he did this dance, though without the undercurrent of despair, and it takes Neil's hands bullying him into place on stage to get the feeling back in his legs. When Neil's arm lands across his shoulders and they stand together, waiting for their cue, it feels like home.

~~~~~~

**Author's Note:**

> Written because I went obsessive for a while and couldn't help watching [this vid](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YbEtfJryXA) of [Kent and Neil doing Travis's choreography](http://soleta.net/kisa/kent%20and%20neil.flv) for about a month. Art by the lovely [](http://soleta.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://soleta.dreamwidth.org/)**soleta**.


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